Did you know that Sunday was Mental Health Awareness Day? This newsletter is one day late but I want to share a personal update about my mental health in hopes that it may help someone else who is struggling and break down some of the stigmas we have about mental health.
When I was young, I was praised for being gifted. Whether I was getting perfect grades in school, launching a new “business”, or spending the entire summer reading Brittanica Encyclopedias, I was told that I was special and would go on to be a great lawyer, doctor, or engineer.
When I got to high school, things got a little complicated. I received my first failing grade and struggled to focus on topics I wasn’t interested in (Chemistry 🤮). Despite being very smart, I graduated with average grades and ranked in the lower half of my class. In hindsight, it didn’t make any sense.
Navigating college was even more difficult. I was eager to learn but continued to struggle with boredom, and by then, I was internally battling low self esteem. Luckily, extra curricular activities like student government kept me motivated.
The boredom, lack of focus, low self-esteem, and disappointment followed me through adulthood along with forgetfulness, mood swings, restlessness, and impulsiveness. Sometimes, the feelings are so overwhelming that I have dark, spiraling episodes that leave me too upset or rejected to function. It’s wild.
Something was wrong but no one understood what I was experiencing.That’s why I’ll never forget reading the text message from a friend who knew I was struggling:
“This sounds like ADHD. You should talk to someone about this.”
ADHD?! Me? No way.
“That’s for little boys who have outbursts, right?”
“Can adults even have ADHD?”
“I mean, who doesn’t forget where they put their keys or if they put on deodorant already?!”
To be honest, I didn’t even really understand how ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) worked. All I knew was that I wasn’t hyperactive and that there was stigma around mental health, and ADHD diagnosis specifically, in the Black community.
But my friend was right. After talking to my therapist and finally getting assessed by a psychiatrist, I was diagnosed with ADHD at 32.
So what is ADHD exactly? ADHD is a neurological condition that can cause poor executive function and make it difficult to regulate emotions. It can cause the brain to feel constantly underwhelmed and under stimulated. About 3% adults have it but most aren’t diagnosed or treated for it.
Many women aren’t diagnosed until we begin to struggle in the workplace, find difficulty maintaining relationships, or become burdened with indecision, anxiety and depression.
Since the symptoms present differently in young girls, it’s usually overlooked or misdiagnosed by healthcare professionals. In fact, most of the research on ADHD is on young boys and men while studies on girls and women are almost nonexistent.
It’s been about one year since the diagnosis and despite my initial fears, I don’t feel labeled. The hardest part has been grieving the time I spent being so hard on myself or trying to “fix myself” using self-help strategies that won’t ever work for me. Getting help from mental health professionals was the best thing I could have done for myself.
So, if you or someone you know has ADHD, you/they are not alone and there's no shame associated with the diagnosis. My hope is this message helps break down some of the stigmas we have about ADHD and other mental health issues.
As a reminder, I am NOT a mental health professional so if you have specific questions, I highly recommend you find someone who may be able to help you.
In the meantime, here are some resources that were recommended to me:
