Hey ,
The last self-sustaining practice I want to share with you that has truly helped me is to let go of the need to fix myself. For most of my life, I've tried to fix myself in some way. Whether it was changing my look, weight, or personality - it's been a never-ending cycle of worrying what others think and playing the
comparison game.
I fell for the trap of fixing myself early on. My earliest memory was joining my mom on the grapefruit diet. We have a family history of calling out people with fat bodies (society, too) and I was twelve years old trying to lose weight with her. She believed that she would be happy, loved, and
supported if she lived up to society's standards and I developed that outlook too.
"Fixing" yourself isn't always about bodyweight. It could be trying to change your personality at work, forcing yourself to do activities you don't enjoy with a friend or romantic partner, or editing/filtering yourself on social media.
, have you ever tried to fix yourself?
If so, you're not alone. As much as I'd like to say it's easy to stop doing, we live in a world that constantly tells us that we need to be fixed, changed or upgraded in order to have a better life. But the reality is that in most cases, it's not true.
If you find yourself thinking you need to change something about yourself to accommodate others, here are some ways to remind yourself you don't need to be fixed:
- Stop the thoughts as soon as they comes up. The reality is we'd have to undo 20-30 years worth of damage to never feel the need to fix ourselves. This is unrealistic. Instead, notice when a thought comes up and inquire whether it's true or if it's what society wants you to believe. Shift your attention to the positive qualities about yourself and remind yourself that you are
already enough.
- Pause the self-help books and podcasts. There are some books and podcasts that are fantastic and there are some that play more on your insecurities than your strengths. Are there other kinds of content you'd like to fill your mind with? I'm not anti self-help books and podcasts, I just learned to listen to them in moderation. Otherwise, you'll feel
like you are on a hamster wheel making no real progress.
- Remember, you don't need to be fixed. The need to be fixed implies that you are broken. Whether it's from family or society in general - this is not true. Don't be so focused trying to create a new life - requested by others - that you forget to live and enjoy the one you have right now.
, I know this is all easier said than done but remember, you can't fix something that is not broken. Instead, you leave it alone, live life, and continue to flourish.
Co-Founder, City Fit Girls
