Are Your Goals Getting In Your Own Way?
Hello ,
Last week, I came across an article, “Stop Keeping Score”, that made the case against defining happiness or success by checking boxes off a list. The author argues that “if your happiness depends on a list of worldly accomplishments, you might soon find that your fear of failure supplants your ambition.” Ouch. If you know me, you
know I love a good list of goals so I was intrigued...
The good news is that the article never criticizes being ambitious or goal-oriented (whew), but it does emphasize that relying solely on extrinsic goals (like money and recognition) may not always lead to more happiness.
This is something that I tend to agree with when it comes to life goals but wondered how it related to sports where winning a prize or medal, although extrinsic, seems very fulfilling in the moment. An article in Women’s Running discusses how Olympic athletes suffer from post-Olympic depression after returning home to ordinary life. After working towards a specific goal for four years, win or lose, returning to normal life is hard.
Ultimately, both articles draw similar conclusions - “People often have trouble finding lasting satisfaction from worldly rewards, because as soon as we acquire something, our desire resets and we are looking to the next reward.” It's like a goal-setting hamster wheel.
It is also why people who love to paint may enjoy it less when their partner encourages them to sell their artwork or when a person succeeds in reaching a goal weight and still feels it's not enough.
, when you set goals, are they only extrinsically motivated? Are you constantly seeking the next promotion, next raise, the best house, etc. only to find that happiness from those things are temporary? If so, you may know the feeling of the hamster wheel, too.
As we head into February, I challenge you to create an intrinsic goal, something that is personally rewarding, not external, and work towards it. It can be as big or small as you'd like. If you need help getting started, check out these examples. I haven't decided what my goal will be but when I do, I'll share it with you.
Takia
Co-Founder, City Fit Girls
On The Menu: Salad, Soup, and More Tacos
This week, we're keeping it simple with some of our faves. It's going to be a cold week (at least where we are) and we're looking forward to cozying up with some soup and a book. If you're looking for meal inspiration, check out this week's recipes!
Our Workouts for the Week
Strength Club: This week is all about conditioning. You'll notice that each finisher has an additional move or a different structure (or both). We'll be meeting tomorrow on Zoom at 6PM EST so look out for the link tomorrow morning! | Join Strength Club!
What We're Journaling and Meditating On
No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance. - Robert Holden
This week, we're thinking about self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is "an individual’s acceptance of all of their attributes, positive or negative.” Despite our best efforts, it's not always an easy or default feeling so if you struggle, you're not alone.
Try this exercise: Write a one-page letter (or more) about your relationship with self-acceptance.
What do you accept about yourself? 1-3 examples. What are you having a hard time accepting about yourself? There's no right or wrong answers here - this is just about awareness.
I've been really enjoying the podcast Maintenance Phase and thought the most recent episode about The Biggest Loser is worth the listen. It's a great companion to the article about the origin of the 1,200 calorie narrative (which isn't a perfect article but still worth the read).
Thanks for reading City Fit Girls Newsletter #268. We'll see you next Monday! In the meantime, follow us on social media using the links below.
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