I can recall being an over-functioner as early as 12. 

What is over-functioning? According to Psychology Today: "When anxiety hits, our brain often turns on its autopilot. We find the quickest way to calm ourselves and everyone else down. For many people, the fastest strategy is to become over-responsible for family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers." 

Given the circumstances I was dealt with as a child, I had to have an answer for everything and show that I could do whatever needed to be done to keep things moving in the right direction.  

I never saw the harm in this. I was deemed a really good kid by adults, and I was considered responsible and helpful. I was put in leadership positions at work (sooner than I should have been), became the unsolicited therapist in my friend groups, and had a no-excuses approach to fitness. 

I continued operating this way for almost two decades until something began to shift during the pandemic and I stopped trying to do it all. 

At first, this looked like bailing on friends at the last minute without being honest about why. Then, I began to allow myself to experience failure at work but still avoided the feelings associated with letting myself and others down. Slowly but surely, I was able to reschedule plans (sorry, y'all!) and experience failure without being crippled by fear. 

This was super uncomfortable but it was the beginning of a more intentional, and sustainable, way of living. 

Why am I sharing this now?

Well, if you haven't noticed, it's been two weeks since we landed in your inbox. Takia and I have been in a transition period. She started teaching again and I forced myself to take a real vacation. We both felt ourselves being drawn back to our over-functioning tendencies so we had to put a few things on pause, including Strides. 

While on vacation, I reflected on the year and the things I needed to do to ease into the fall season. I didn't have clarity for every idea that came to mind but I was willing to go forward anyway. I decided to...

• Change my fall training schedule to add more low-impact workouts. 
• End a romantic relationship that was no longer serving my long-term plans.
• Take time away from Instagram to minimize distractions. 
• Redesign my apartment to make it more spacious - with a calming feel.
• Set new boundaries at work as we head into a busy season.
• Remind myself that I don't have to have an answer for everything. 

After all of this change, my friend texted me and asked, "so what's next for you?" I told him I didn't know. Honestly, it was the first time I really meant it and felt content with the unknown. 

,  I hope you give yourself permission to ease into the fall season with new ideas and dreams. If you need to pause, pause. If it's cutting season for you, I hope you trust your decision - with or without clarity - to let go of the people, places, and things that are no longer serving you.